Dealing With The Past
by kathrynlauryn
Summary: Johnny Gage had a high school sweetheart. A woman he loved with his entire soul, until she left without a word. What happens when she re-enters his life? What happens when they're both forced to deal with each other and their unresolved feelings?
1. Chapter 1

_**This is another story involving my OC, Julianna Stoker. Julianna married Johnny Gage in my Something Special series. This is another story involving them. What if Julianna and Johnny shared a past and were reunited? How will Johnny react to person from his past? **_

_**~Remember this is entirely different than the Something Special series. Don't be alarmed if this story has things happening that didn't happen in that series. (Example: Julianna's parents are still alive, but have moved to another state leaving Mike in charge of their house.) Hope you like this new take on my favorite couple, Johnny and Julianna.**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but Julianna's character. All others belong to Mark VII and NBC Universal. **_

Julianna Stoker flung herself down on her bed. She'd arrived back in LA to finish her residency and moved into a house with her brother. Mike had insisted that his sister live with him because he'd missed having her around while she was in medical school and residency. She had been excited about staying with her brother and starting her new job. What she hadn't counted on was running into Johnny. Julianna had a tense and loud conversation with Johnny, freaked out during the ride along and then fled the station at the end of her 12 hours on duty.

Julianna and Johnny had gone to high school together. They had actually dated for nearly a full school year in high school, but they'd broken up after some stupid misunderstanding. Julianna still remembered the first day she'd met Johnny in high school.

Julianna was trying to get used to her brother being gone from the house. He was five years older and had moved out when he got his first assignment when he finished the fire academy. She was very proud of her brother. Their father was Battalion Chief in Pasadena. Julianna knew Mike would follow in their father's footsteps and she always considered her older brother her hero. Their mom worked as a nurse and Julianna had been around the medical field for her most of her life. That was probably why she had decided to go to medical school.

The boundary lines had changed and forced Julianna to attend a different high school for her senior year. It hadn't bothered her that much. She was actually kind of glad to get out of her brother's shadow. He'd been a stellar athlete and excellent student. Julianna was an excellent student and would probably graduate as Valedictorian which would make college easier for her. She had been a cheerleader at her old school and she had tried out at her new one, just to see if she could do it. She'd made the team, but was quick to realize she didn't quite measure up to the girls on the team, but she was good at what she did, so she hadn't worried too much about it.

Julianna's first day at school had her a bundle of nerves. Mike had stopped by to wish his sister luck on her first day and headed off to his shift as a fireman. Her father was working a 48-hour shift, but her mom had been there when she had headed off for the walk to the high school.

She entered the school and picked up her schedule and locker assignment. She was a member of the class of 1967 and ready to start her path to medical school.

She arrived at her locker and silently cursed. Julianna, who was very accepting of her height, but couldn't get over the fact that schools had installed half lockers instead of full-sized ones. She stared at the hook a mere inch out of her reach.

"Wanna trade," she heard from the other side of the locker door.

She looked behind the door and found a tall, thin guy with dark hair and eyes standing there. He flashed a bright smile and pointed to the locker below her.

"They gave me this one. I can trade with you. Or I can help you every morning," he said, a crooked grin flashing across his face.

Julianna smiled. "Do you mind trading," she asked.

"Nope. Wouldn't have offered if I did. I'd hate to have you drop your books on my head because you couldn't hang up your coat or something," he said, teasing in his voice.  
"Ha ha," she said, smiling.  
"Here," he said, handing her the combination to the locker below hers. She handed him the combination to the upper locker.

"By the way, I'm Johnny Gage," he said.

"Juli Stoker," she said.

"Well, Juli, where is your first class," he asked.

"Government," she said.  
"Me, too. Can I walk you to class," he asked.  
"I'd like that," she said.

They headed off to class and found they had a lot of classes together. They even met for lunch and Johnny introduced Julianna to his friends. She had explained she had to transfer to this school because the boundary changes. They met at their lockers again, not having their last class together.

"So, Juli, are you heading home," Johnny asked, taking his books out of his locker.

"Cheerleading practice. Guess I'll see you tomorrow," she said.  
"Tomorrow. See you," Johnny said. He watched Julianna head toward the gym and smiled as he headed out the door. He'd only known Juli for a day, but he felt they could become great friends.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but Julianna. All others belong to Mark VII and NBC Universal.

Julianna headed home after her cheerleading practice. It was nearly 5 and she knew she was going to have to fix dinner for herself when she got home. Her father would be home in the morning and her mother was working overnight in the maternity ward of Rampart General.

Rampart was a new hospital that had opened to serve the growing population of the county. As Julianna headed out of the door to the school, she was surprised to find Johnny standing outside the school.

"Johnny! What are you doing here," she asked.

"Well, I wanted to walk you home, so I asked a friend when practice was over," Johnny said.  
"That's nice of you. I could use the company," she said.  
"Great! Let's go," he said.

They walked down the sidewalks toward Julianna's house.

"So, how about you tell me a little about yourself, Juli," Johnny asked.  
"What do you want to know," she asked.

"Anything you want to tell me. Do you have any siblings," he asked.  
"Yeah. I have an older brother, Mike. He's a fireman. He's been doing it for 3 years now. Our dad's a fireman in Pasadena," Julianna said.  
"Your mom stay at home and bake cookies," he asked.  
"Sort of. She's a nurse at the new hospital. She used to work at St. Francis. She works on maternity. What about you," she asked.

Johnny took his eyes off of Julianna and started staring at the ground. Julianna thought she said something wrong.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to answer that," she said.  
"No, I just...my parents...well, my mom died. I've been living with my aunt on the reservation," he said.  
"The reservation! That place looks really cool," she said, smiling.

Johnny looked at her and was surprised to find that she seemed genuinely excited about the reservation. He smiled at her. "Well, maybe one weekend you can come by and see it," he said.  
"I'd like that," she said.

They arrived at her house and Julianna went to the front door. She took out her key. Johnny took it from her and unlocked the door.

"Thanks," she said.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow," he said.  
"Yeah, tomorrow," she said. She started to walk inside the house before she turned around. Johnny had started walking down her driveway.

"Hey, Johnny," she called.  
He turned around. "Yeah," he said.

"You want to walk me to school tomorrow," she asked.  
Johnny smiled at her with a crooked grin that made her smile back. "I would love to. I'll meet you in the morning," he said. He waved and headed back to his walk to the bus stop.

Julianna closed and locked the door behind her, deciding that her new high school had definite possibilities.

Julianna and Johnny were a couple throughout their entire senior year. They were both excited about Prom and Julianna was talking to her friends, Kathy and Lucy, about it.  
"I guess it goes without saying that you're going with Johnny," Kathy said.  
Julianna looked at her friends. "Well, I guess, but he hasn't actually asked me," Julianna said.

Lucy looked at Julianna. "Juli, why does he have to ask you," Lucy asked.  
"Because he always asks me. I mean, he asks me out even though it's a given that we'll go out on Friday or Saturday. He's a gentleman," she said. She smiled. "He even asked me before he kissed me the first time."

Her friends smiled at Julianna's admission. "He sounds almost too good to be true," Lucy said.  
Julianna smiled. She saw Johnny waving at her from across the courtyard. She said good-bye to her friends and headed to greet her boyfriend.

They shared a quick kiss before he took her hand and they headed off on their walk to her house.

"You girls talking about Prom," Johnny asked.  
"Yeah. They were wondering if I was going to go," she said.  
"Are we," he asked.  
"Are you asking," she asked.  
"Yeah," he said.  
"Well, then I guess I should go shopping," she said.

They finished their walk to her house and he went inside to see her parents. Mr. and Mrs. Stoker liked Johnny and were happy to see Julianna so happy with Johnny.

"Mom, I need to go shopping for my Prom dress," Julianna said.  
"Oh, that's so exciting. How about tomorrow," her mom said.  
"Sounds good to me, Mom," Julianna said.  
"Johnny, will you stay for dinner," her mother asked.  
"I would love to, Mrs. Stoker, but I'm supposed to have dinner with my aunt and some other family members tonight. Can I take a rain check," he asked.  
"Of course, Johnny, you're always welcome," her mom said. Her mom hugged Johnny and Julianna walked him to the door. She shut the door behind her and stood on the porch.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow after I pick up my dress. I'll call Kathy and Lucy. They might want to go with me," she said.  
"Have fun. I know whatever you pick out is going to be beautiful because you already are," he said.

They shared a rather long kiss before Johnny broke away and waved as he headed to the bus stop. Julianna went back inside with her parents.

"Johnny is such a nice young man, Juli," her mom said.  
"I must admit, he's just the kind of guy a father wants their daughter to date," her father said.  
"Thanks. I just wish Mike liked him," Julianna said.  
"He's your big brother. He's supposed to dislike everyone you go out with," her mom said.  
"He's never even met Johnny. Mike's always working or Johnny has chores so they've never met. I can't understand how Mike can dislike someone he's never met. I'm going to call Kathy and Lucy and see if they want to go shopping with me tomorrow. I'm supposed to go to the reservation tomorrow and ride with Johnny," she said.  
"I'm working in the morning and your mother has the evening shift, so I guess you're on your own, kiddo. Oh, a letter from the USC," her dad said, pointing to the letter on the table.  
Julianna pounced on the letter and opened it. She read it quickly and screamed.  
"What, Julianna," her mother asked, putting the spaghetti on a plate.

"I got IN! I've been accepted to the summer program. I'm going to medical school," Julianna said.

Her parents enveloped her in a hug. "Is Mikey working," she asked.  
"No, tomorrow," her mom said.  
Julianna ran to the living room and called her brother. He promised to take her out to dinner to celebrate her acceptance into college and taking the first step toward medical school. She then called Kathy and Lucy and told them about the Prom and her college acceptance. Only Kathy seemed to pour cold water on Julianna's happiness.

"What will happen to you and Johnny," Kathy asked.  
Julianna hadn't thought of Johnny. They hadn't gotten serious with each other until after she'd sent in the application.

"We'll come up with something. I can't believe he wouldn't be happy for me. I'm going to call him and tell him what happened," Julianna said.

Julianna couldn't see Kathy through the phone, but her friend wore a smile on her face that would have lead Julianna to believe she was up to something.


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: Julianna is mine. All others belong to Mark VII and NBC Universal.

Julianna couldn't contain her excitement so she immediately called Johnny. His aunt answered after the second ring.  
"Hi, Aunt Ruby. It's Juli. Is Johnny around," she asked.  
"No dear, he's out working the horses. Heard you guys were going to Prom," Ruby said.  
"Yeah. I'm heading out to the store to buy a dress tomorrow before I come out there to go trail riding," she said.  
"Well, dear. I'll tell Johnny you called," she said.  
"Ruby, could I come out there and surprise him? I have some news I can't wait to share with him," Julianna asked.  
"I think that would be lovely, dear," Ruby said.

"I'll see you in a little bit," Julianna said.  
She went into the kitchen and sat down with her parents.  
"Can I take the Mustang to the reservation," Julianna asked.

"Don't you want to eat dinner," her mom asked.

"I'll make some fresh noodles when I get back. I HAVE to tell Johnny," she said.  
"Be careful, dear," her dad said.  
She kissed her parents good bye and headed out the door to the garage. She got into the Mustang and headed off toward the reservation.

Johnny was working out the horses. He hoped to have his chores finished so he would be free tomorrow to spend all day with Juli.

"Hey, John," he heard a familiar voice call. Johnny turned his head and saw Julianna's friend, Kathy, standing at the gate. He waved to her, but wondered what she was doing there.

He put the horse back into the barn and headed to talk to her. "What are you doing here, Kathy," he asked.  
"Just wanted to ask you if you and Juli will double date with my date and me to the Prom," she asked.

"I guess, if it's OK with Juli. But why did you come all the way out here to ask me. Couldn't you have asked Juli," Johnny asked, wiping his forehead with the rag in his back pocket.

Kathy came closer to him. "I wanted to see you," she said, leaning in closer.

Julianna pulled the Mustang up to the corral where the horses were kept. She saw Johnny standing there near someone who looked awfully familiar to her. She headed toward her boyfriend and the woman standing next to him. Just as she got to the gate, she saw her best

friend, Kathy, kissing her boyfriend.

Julianna stopped dead in her tracks. She took in what was happening and her heart broke. She took off running from them and got in the Mustang. As she tore out of the driveway, Johnny pushed Kathy.  
"Kathy, what the hell," he turned toward the driveway and saw the tail lights of Julianna's car leaving.

"Oh, no, Juli," he said before heading to the house to see if his aunt would let him borrow the car.

Kathy grinned to herself before heading to find Johnny.

"Aunt Ruby, I have to get Juli's," he said.  
"She was coming by here. Did something happen," she asked.  
"You could say that. Can I borrow the car," he asked.

"Sure, Johnny," his aunt said.  
Johnny grabbed the keys from her purse and headed out the door. He blew past Kathy and headed to the car. He ignored her as he headed out of the driveway, hellbent on getting to Julianna.

Kathy got behind the wheel of her car and headed toward her house. She'd done what she'd set out to do. She had managed to bring a little unhappiness into Julianna's life. Finding out her friend had gotten into college and was probably going to medical school, had upset her. Kathy couldn't stand for Julianna to have it all. Now, maybe, she'd get the guy.

Julianna drove toward her house. She pulled over at park, too scared to drive any farther because of her tears clouding her vision. She sat down on a bench and buried her face in her hands. She started sobbing. She couldn't believe that one day would start out so incredible and be so horrible at the same time. Julianna took a shaky breath and got off the bench. She walked back to her car. If she was having doubts about school, seeing Johnny and Kathy kiss was enough to convince her to go. In fact, she was going to take the summer session. She was going to head out to college as soon as she could. She was going to leave this town, her lousy friends and her untrustworthy boyfriend behind.

Johnny arrived at Julianna's house. He hopped out of the car and ran to the front door. Julianna's mom answered the door.

"Johnny! Juli was heading to your house," she said.  
"Is she back? I need to talk to her," he said.  
"No she hasn't returned home, just now. Maybe she stopped off to see one of her girlfriends. She did get some exciting news today. She was heading over to the reservation to tell you," her mom said.

"News," Johnny questioned.  
"She got accepted into college! Isn't that wonderful," she said.  
Johnny was shocked. He knew Julianna had been applying to school and had her heart set on becoming a doctor. He'd loved to see the smile on her face when she talked about becoming a doctor.

"Well, tell her I came by and congratulations," Johnny said, walking down the steps.

Julianna pulled around the corner and saw Johnny walking back to his aunt's car. She made the next turn and pulled behind another car. When she saw Johnny's car pass, she pulled into the driveway.

"Julianna, you just missed Johnny. I thought you were meeting him at the reservation," her mother asked.

"I missed him there. I'll just call and talk to him later," she said, heading up to her room.

Julianna's mother closed the front door and watched her daughter go upstairs. Helen Stoker knew her daughter and something had happened to her when she left the house.

Julianna started packing. She hadn't spoken to Johnny and her mother knew something had happened between the two of them. When Johnny had called to make plans for the Prom, Julianna asked her mother to tell Johnny she was sick and couldn't go. In truth, Julianna had exercised her option to graduate early, she didn't need the classes she was taking that semester, and head off to college to start early. She wanted to get away and starting in the summer session was the perfect solution.

The day of the Prom, Julianna had loaded up the Mustang and driven off to college. Her parents were shocked at her abrupt departure, but they knew their daughter had a passion and was going to do what she needed to do to achieve her dream.

Helen and Ben Stoker waved at their daughter as she headed off toward school. She was adamant that she do it on her own. When her mom had asked about Johnny, Julianna said to tell him the truth. Julianna stopped by to visit her brother, who was a bit alarmed at her rash decision to head off to school without saying goodbye to her friends or even to the boyfriend she seemed to care a great deal about. Julianna successfully avoided all questions her brother asked and prepared herself for her college experience.

Johnny rang the bell at the Stoker house. He didn't understand why he hadn't spoken to Julianna and he was determined to talk to his girlfriend. He hated not speaking with her, especially after the incredible weekend they had shared nearly six weeks before. When Julianna's mom answered the door, Johnny could tell she was going to tell him something he didn't want to hear.

"Johnny, come in," she said.  
"Thanks, Mrs. Stoker. Is Juli home," Johnny asked.  
"No, she's not," she said.  
"When will she be back," he asked.  
"She's moved out. She took her early graduation option and headed to college. She started the summer session. I thought she would have called or at least written you," she said.  
Johnny was crushed. Julianna had left him without even telling him herself. He didn't know what Mrs. Stoker said to him because he didn't hear anything. The tears filled his eyes and he took off out the door. He got in the car and drove, not having a destination in mind. He pulled into the park and went to the bench they often sat when they were on their way home from a date. He sat down on the bench and sobbed into his hands. His heart was truly broken and he didn't think it would ever heal.


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, but Julianna. Mark VII and NBC Universal own everything else.

Julianna entered her first classes at college feeling like she'd accomplished something. She loved Johnny, but seeing him and Kathy kiss proved to her that they wouldn't survive her being in college and away from him for long periods of time. She was so caught up in her studies that she completely missed the signs.

When she found herself hunched over her toilet she thought something was wrong. As she sat down on the tiled floor of her off-campus apartment she realized she just might have to contact Johnny.

She went to the phone to make a call to Johnny, hoping that he hadn't moved, when she was hit with a horrible pain. Realizing something was wrong, she called her downstairs neighbor.

Her neighbor rushed upstairs and found Julianna on the floor.

"Anna, what's wrong," her neighbor, Ruth, asked.

"Hospital," she managed to say through the pains.  
Ruth helped her down to car and drove her to the hospital.

Upon their arrival, Ruth rushed in to get some help.

"My friend's having horrible stomach pains. Please, help her," Ruth said.  
Two orderlies and a nurse rushed outside with a gurney. Julianna was near the point of passing out when they arrived.  
They took her inside the hospital and the doctor did a quick exam. It didn't take long for him to discover that Julianna was suffering a miscarriage.

"Is her family nearby," the doctor asked.  
"Her friend is in the lobby and she said she called her brother," the nurse said.  
"Let me know when he gets here," the doctor said.

Mike Stoker rushed into the hospital. He'd gotten a phone call from his sister's friend and neighbor that she was in the hospital. He didn't know what to think, he just had to get to Julianna.

He went to the reception desk and asked for his sister. "I'm looking for Julianna Stoker," Mike asked.  
"What's your relationship to the patient," the nurse asked.  
"I'm her brother, Mike," he said.  
The nurse recognized the name and told him to wait at the desk while she went to get the doctor.

The doctor came to the desk and introduced himself to Mike. "I'm Dr. Thomas. You're sister came in with stomach pains. She actually mentioned what she thought the diagnosis would be and she was right. She's getting some blood and we're monitoring her," the doctor said.  
"What happened to my sister," he asked.  
"She's miscarried. You can go and see her in just a moment. She's going to stay overnight just to make sure she doesn't need to have a transfusion," Dr. Thomas said.  
Mike nearly collapsed at hearing his sister had been pregnant and miscarried. He wouldn't have thought that of his sister, but he was just grateful she was going to be OK.

The nurse came down and brought Mike to her room. Juianna was awake when Mike opened the door.  
"Juju. You scared me," Mike said, rushing to hug his sister.  
"Mike, I'm so sorry. I had no idea," she said.  
"When did you find out? Is that why you left mom and dad's," he asked.  
"NO! I had no idea until a few hours ago and then I started having pains. I knew exactly what was happening," Julianna said.

"Was it your boyfriend from back home," he asked.  
Julianna shot her brother a look that said she really didn't want to talk about this with him, but she knew she would have to.  
"Yes and he didn't know anything. Believe me, if he knew, he would have been there. He's an honorable guy," she said.  
"Honorable! He wouldn't have slept with you unless you were married. Julianna what were you thinking," he asked.  
Julianna looked at her brother. "Come on, Mike. Are you telling me you never slept with any of the women you've dated? You're telling me you're a perfect angel."

Mike looked away from his sister, knowing she had him there.

"Are you going back home to mom and dad's," Mike asked.  
"No. I'm going to finish school and become a doctor," Julianna said.  
"After this," he asked.  
"Yes and because you're my big brother, you're going to keep this to yourself. You're not to tell mom and dad about the stupid decision their daughter made," she said.

Mike looked at his sister. He saw the determination in her eyes and he decided her was going to keep her secret.

"Fine," Mike said.  
Julianna relaxed and closed her eyes. Mike sat back in the chair and closed his eyes.

Two days later, Julianna was back at her apartment and working on her school work. Mike had stayed for those two days and when he left, Julianna realized she missed him.

Julianna was hurting from the loss of the baby, but realized she couldn't have a baby without Johnny.

Julianna promised she was going to focus on her studies and become a doctor. She was not going to let a man or a memory get in her way. Even if the memory and the man was Johnny.


	5. Chapter 5

_**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but Julianna. Mark VII and NBC Universal own everyone and everything else.**_

_**Eight years later**_

Julianna Stoker left her apartment in San Francisco after her medical school duties were completed. She completed two years of her residency in San Francisco and two were to be completed in Los Angeles. She was to be part of a new charter program for medical students. She had completed two years of Internal Medicine and the two other years would be done in the Emergency Room at Rampart. The medical profession was pushing for Emergency Medicine to be a separate class of study and residents would have to study for their full residency in the field.

Julianna liked the excitement of Emergency work and she was excited to go to Rampart.

She'd been away from LA for nearly a decade and she was excited to be closer to Mike. Her parents had retired to Florida and Mike was living in their parent's old home. Mike had told Julianna to move in with him when she returned to LA and she had accepted. She loved her brother and was looking forward to living with him. He was excited about his promotion to Engineer and placement at a new station in the county. He was also talking about the paramedic program the county had started. He was excited to be working in a station that housed paramedics.

Julianna finished hanging her clothes in the closet and she headed back downstairs.

"Are you working tomorrow," she asked her brother.  
"Yeah. It's a 24 hour shift," he said.

"I'm supposed to do a ride-along tomorrow," she said, picking up the laundry basket.  
"So soon after starting," he asked.  
"Yeah. Residency is never easy. I have an eight hour shift at the hospital. Eleven to seven. Should be able to catch a shower and change before my 12 hours with Station 51. How do you feel about that," she asked, loading the washing machine.  
Mike leaned against the door of the laundry room. "I think I can handle it," he said. He headed toward the kitchen before calling back, "Are you making dinner?"

Julianna threw the empty box of laundry detergent his way and he dodged the throw.

"Getting a little rusty, Juju," he said, smiling.  
Julianna peered around the corner. "Watch it Michael Douglas! I could make a meal that no one will want to eat," she said.  
The siblings smiled at each other before Mike headed outside to grill some hamburgers for him and Julianna. Julianna packed her duffel, much like her brother would do in a few hours and prepared for her long shift. She was going to have an early dinner with Mike and they settle down for a few hours of sleep before she reported for work at 11 that night.

Julianna arrived at Station 51, for a ride-along for her residency. Dr. Brackett and Dr. Early had said they were impressed with her clinical skills and her diagnosing was well beyond what they had expected. They were letting her see patients on her own and, with minimal supervision, were seeing a great doctor being born.

Julianna was very happy to have the praise of her supervising physicians. She was also looking forward to the ride-along she would be doing with Mike's station for the next twelve hours. She arrived just after 8 because her shift at the hospital had run long. She called Mike at home and asked him to inform the paramedics she was riding with she was delayed at the hospital. Mike promised to tell them and he headed for his shift. He hadn't told anyone but the Captain that his sister was the ride-along physician that day. He didn't know how they would react to it.

Mike entered the locker room and changed his clothes. He wasn't surprised to find he was the second person, after the Captain, to arrive from A-shift.

He saw the rest of the shift trickle in, with Johnny jogging across the parking lot.

Mike chuckled to himself and went into the day room and the coffee.

He found Captain Stanley there and he spoke to him.

"Cap, Juli's going to be late for the ride-along. She got held up at the hospital. She'll be here in a few. When she finished with her last patient, she's going to change and head over," Mike said, drinking his coffee.

"Thanks, Mike. You want me to tell Johnny and Roy," Stanley asked.  
Mike nodded.

Just then, Johnny and Roy came into the day.

"Good morning," they both said.  
They were greeted with a chorus of good mornings from the rest of a-shift, trickling into the room.  
"Guys, your ride along for this shift is running a bit late. Apparently something happened at the hospital and she was needed to stick around for a few minutes," Stanley said.  
"That's fine," Roy said.  
He handed Johnny a cup of coffee and noticed his younger partner was staring.  
"Hey, junior, what's wrong," Roy asked.  
"He said she, didn't he," Johnny said.  
"Yeah, so," Roy asked.  
"Just what we need," Johnny said.

Roy shook his head.


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, but Julianna. Mark VII and NBC Universal own everything else.

Julianna adjusted the uniform she'd been given and jogged into the back door of the station. She wasn't at all surprised to find her brother emptying the trash, almost like he was waiting for her.

"Hey, Juju," he called.  
"Hi, Mikey. Sorry I'm late. I had eight hours at the ER that were supposed to end at 7 so I could shower and change and make it here in time, but that didn't happen. Those interns are going to get it when Brackett gets a hold of them," she said, walking into her brother's embrace.

Meanwhile, in the day room, Chet noticed Mike hadn't returned from taking out the trash. He went to the window and saw Mike giving a hug to a rather attractive woman.

"Hey, guys! Does Stoker have a girlfriend," Chet asked.  
Johnny and Roy, seated at the table said, "No." "He's never said anything to me," Marco said, opening the paper.  
"Well, who do you think that attractive woman is giving him a hug in our parking lot," Chet asked.  
The sound of chairs being shuffled back across the floor and footsteps rushed to the window to see what Chet was seeing. Only Captain Stanley had an idea what they were seeing.

"So you ready for this," Mike asked his sister.

"Of course. Do any of them know I'm your sister," she asked as they walked to the back door.

"Nope. I figured we could tell them later," he said.  
Julianna smiled at her brother. He held the door open and, putting an arm around her shoulders, guided her into the Captain's office.

Everyone rushed to get back to their seats. Captain Stanley headed to his office, waiting to meet Mike's sister.

"Cap, this is Julianna," he said.  
Julianna shook Captain Stanley's hand. "Pleasure, Julianna," he said.  
"Juli, please. Thanks for letting me work out of the station for my ride-alongs," she said.  
"No problem. You're family. If you want to come into the day room, we'll introduce you to the rest of the team and you can meet the paramedics you'll be working with while you're here. Did you get the hour arrangements worked out with headquarters," Cap asked.  
"Yeah. Today I'm here for 12 hours. Kel said he'd let me know if I needed to do the full 24 if I'm not getting enough clinical experience," Julianna said.  
She had no problem bunking in the dorm with a bunch of guys. She'd spent all of medical school one of only three women in her class. She was used to being 'one of the guys.'

"Come on, Juju. Let's meet the team," Mike said.

He guided her with his arm on her shoulders, into the day room.  
Eight sets of eyes were on him as he entered the room. One set of eyes widened at the sight of her. Julianna hadn't noticed Johnny. He sat down and willed his heart rate to calm down. As Mike introduced her, Julianna caught Johnny's eyes and a shocked 'oh' escaped her lips.

"Chet, Marco, this is my sister, Julianna. Juli, these are the paramedics you'll be working with, Roy DeSoto and John..." he started before Julianna cut him off.

"Gage," she finished for him, much to the shock of everyone in the room.

"Juli," Johnny said.  
"You OK, sis," he asked.  
"Fine. Think I could have a cup of coffee. I didn't get any before I left the hospital," she said.  
Chet jumped up and got her a cup of coffee. Mike handed her the cream and Julianna fixed herself a cup of coffee, well aware of Johnny's gaze fixed on her. She sat down at the table and looked at Roy. "So do you mind having me as a ride-along," she asked, sipping the coffee and willing her hands to NOT shake.  
"Love having doctors on board. Especially good ones. Brackett, Early and Dixie are singing your praises. We're lucky to have you along," Roy said.  
Johnny was speechless. He got up from the table and went into the dorm. He knew he was probably being rude and Roy would likely lecture him about it, but he didn't care. He had to get himself under control. In the next room stood the woman that broke his heart in high school. The woman that made him feel incompetent. The woman he gave his heart. The woman who was, and always would be, his first. The woman that all other women were unfairly and unknowingly compared. The woman that, despite 8 years, he wanted nothing more than to take in his arms, kiss her and proclaim his love for her. Despite the time and distance, he was still in love with Julianna Stoker. He had no idea she was Mike Stoker's sister. He knew Julianna had a brother that was a firefighter, but hadn't connected the last name to Julianna until he saw Mike and Julianna standing together. The resemblance was amazing and Johnny couldn't believe he hadn't noticed before. Now the problem was, how was he going to handle it. He wanted to come out and ask her why she left without a word to him. Why she had felt the need to abandon him like everyone that meant anything to him had done? The sadness and anger that had been buried for eight years came rising up to the surface. He punched the pillow on his bed and didn't hear the door swing open and notice Julianna standing by Roy's bunk.

"Glad I wasn't standing in front of you when that happened," she said.

Johnny took a deep breath. He did want to take her in his arms again, despite the anger, frustration, pain and sadness he'd felt for the last eight years, every time he thought about her.

"I didn't have any idea you were here," she said.  
Johnny turned and faced her, but didn't get off the bed.

"You went to medical school. You're living your dreams, Juli," he said, trying not to let his bitterness show in his tone.

"Not all of them," she said, sadness tinging her voice.

"Well, nice to know I'm not the only one that's had to readjust their dreams of the future," he said, bitterness showing.  
Julianna picked up on the tone and called him on it.  
"Let me guess. You're upset because I left LA and went off to school and didn't tell you," she said.  
"Among other things," he said, getting off the bed and his voice getting louder.

"Well, let's just say that seeing you kissing Kathy in the corral the day you asked me to Prom was enough to tell me we'd never last a separation like college. It killed me that day to leave," she said.

"And I didn't suffer? You ran off and didn't tell me anything about your plans. I loved you and would have done anything for you. When you mentioned your college plans in the months before, I started checking fire academies in the area. I was going to go with you. But you never gave me the chance," he said.  
Julianna looked at him. That thought numbed the anger she had felt but only slightly. The kiss he'd shared with Kathy angered her.

"What was the kiss with Kathy all about anyway? You were already making plans for my replacement. How long were you two seeing each other anyway," Julianna asked, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Kiss with Kathy? Oh, Jules, she kissed me. I pushed her away. I ran to get the car so I could follow you, but I never saw you after that. Damn it, Jules, if you had talked to me, I would have told you what happened," Johnny said.

"Why? So I could hear you tell me that it was all a misunderstanding? Or maybe it was an accident, you're lips happened to FALL on hers," Julianna said, her voice rising with her agitation.

"Oh, come on Juli. You know me better than that. I would never do something as awful as cheat on someone. Especially someone I love..d," he said, catching himself on the last part.

"Let's be real here, Johnny. You were going to break up with me in college anyway. You did exactly what you wanted to do. You managed to get me into bed and THEN you were ready to trade me in for someone a little more freer with their body than myself. Admit it! You took me to bed and that was it. You got what you wanted. The only thing you wanted," Julianna said, standing in Johnny's personal space.

"You think that, do you? Did you stop and think about how much that night meant to me? How much I wanted to spend that wonderful night with you and no one else," he asked, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper.  
"You were my first and that was all you cared about. That was what you wanted," Julianna said.  
"You weren't a notch in the bedpost, Julianna. You were my first, too. And then I had the woman I loved stomp on my heart and leave me feel used, unwanted and unloved. You know what you're problem is Julianna, you've only thought about yourself and how you feel. You've never thought about me and my feelings," Johnny said, his eyes flashing.

Tears made their way down Julianna's face. Despite her wanting to shrink away, she stood taller than her 5 feet 3 inches and said, "I've thought about you every single day since I left. That night had more meaning to me than you'll ever know. Two weeks after I left, I was in the hospital for two days getting blood transfusions. I have to live with that every single day of my life, so don't tell me I never thought about anyone but myself," Julianna said. She turned away ready to walk out of the door.


	7. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: I own Julianna. All other characters and places belong to Mark VII and NBC Universal.

Johnny looked at Julianna. The look on her face was one of hurt and loss. A look he'd never seen in her eyes before. He thought about her statement. "Transfusions? Wait. You were pregnant? You miscarried," Johnny asked, reaching for her shoulder.

Julianna felt the touch of his hand on her shoulder and she immediately recoiled from it. "Yeah. I've lived with that every single day. I've lived with knowing it was somehow my fault that I lost our baby. Knowing that I should have done something and knowing that if I told you, you'd blame me. Knowing that look you'd have on your face when you found out that I lost our child. I've lived with that all these years, so spare me," she said.

"Where'd Juli go," Roy asked.  
"I don't know. Thought I saw her walking toward the dorm. Maybe she's catching a nap," Chet said.

Mike got off the couch and headed into the dorm. He saw Julianna facing the wall and Johnny's hand stretched out like he was trying to comfort her.

"Hey, what's going on," Mike asked.  
Julianna looked at her brother and wiped her face.

"Nothing, Mikey. Just tired. Roy ready to show me the squad," Julianna asked.

"Yeah," Mike said.

Without waiting for a reply from Johnny, Julianna headed out of the room.  
Mike followed her out of the room, casting a glance back at Johnny. The set of the younger paramedics jaw told Mike that he was upset and Mike wondered if he was going to have to talk to Johnny about being upset with his sister. 'What could have happened in such a short amount of time? They just met, right,' he thought to himself. Mike stopped his sister and looked at her. Suddenly his eyes became as big as saucers. "You know him, don't you," Mike asked.  
Julianna could only nod her head.

"High school," she whispered.  
"He's the one," Mike hissed.

"Yeah, but it's been eight years, Mike and I don't want to relive it," she said, pleading in her eyes.

Mike calmed down a bit after his sister's plea. "Fine, but he better not hurt you again," Mike said, before stalking off to the day room.

Julianna leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. 'He wasn't the only one that did the hurting,' she thought to herself. This was SO not how she thought her day would go when she left the hospital.

Julianna spent the next 12 hours running calls. She'd been able to grab a few hours of sleep before she headed home for the night. Seeing Johnny after all those years, caused every emotion she had to rush to the surface. She couldn't believe Johnny was back into her life and, if she was going to continue working with Station 51, she was going to have to get used to Johnny's presence. She was going to have to learn to live with all the emotions he brought out in her. Good and bad.

Roy and Johnny were in the squad, heading back from their follow up, when Roy asked the question. "What's eating you?"

Johnny, staring out the window, didn't hear Roy's question.

"Johnny...Hey, Johnny," Roy said.  
"Wha...he...yeah," Johnny asked, his attention back to Roy.  
"What's bothering you," Roy asked again.  
"Oh, Jules, I mean, Julianna," Johnny said.  
"Jules," Roy questioned.

"I know her," Johnny said.

"How? Did you meet her at Mike's or something," Roy asked.

Johnny took a deep breath. "No, I knew her in high school. As a matter of fact, Julianna was my girlfriend for all of our senior year," Johnny said.  
Roy nearly stomped on the brakes. "She's the girl you mentioned from high school. The one who broke your heart," Roy said.  
Johnny nodded. "She left for college without a good bye or anything. I asked where she was, but her parents wouldn't tell me," he said.  
"Did you know she was Mike's sister," Roy asked.  
"No. I had no idea. Mike's five years older and had already moved out when I met her. I didn't even know they were related until today," Johnny said.

"Did you talk to her? Find out why she didn't talk to you about leaving," Roy asked as they backed the squad into the station.  
"Yeah, we talked. Actually, we had a little shouting match this morning and she revealed something life changing," he said.

Roy looked at his partner. "What?"

Johnny took a deep breath and looked at his partner. "She told me she had been pregnant," he said, getting out of the squad before Roy could say anything to him.

Roy was shocked. He hadn't known Johnny knew Julianna and he certainly didn't know he had dated her. Finding out he'd fathered a child with Julianna had been equally shocking.

Roy found Johnny in the locker room, washing his face.  
"What happened," Roy asked.  
Johnny looked at Roy through the mirror. "Two weeks after she left, she was in the hospital having a transfusion. She miscarried, Roy and I wasn't there. I didn't know," Johnny said.

"So where does this leave you and Juli. I mean, you still love her, right," Roy asked.  
Johnny didn't say a word. He wiped his face with a towel and went to his locker. Roy waited for his partner to reply. Roy knew Johnny would answer on his own time.

Johnny sat down on the bench. "Yeah, but it doesn't do either of us a hell of a lot of good right now. There's too much baggage," Johnny said.

Johnny turned back to his locker and tossed in the towel. He got off the bench and headed to the day room and a glass of milk. Roy sat their, flabbergasted at the amount of information Johnny had just revealed to him.

Mike headed out to his car only to be stopped by Johnny. Mike had promised Julianna that he wouldn't say anything to him, but having Johnny seek him out pushed those promises out the window.

"Mike. Wait," Johnny said.  
Mike stopped and turned around. "What's up, Johnny," he asked.

"You know about Julianna and me," Johnny asked.  
"Yeah. Juli told me everything," Mike said.  
"So you know about..." Johnny started to say, to embarrassed to continue.  
Mike nodded. "I was there. I stayed with her in the hospital and Juli made me promise yesterday that I wouldn't say anything to you about my knowing. I'm not happy about what you and my sister did, but it's in the past and there's nothing I can do about it. I also believe her when she said that you would have been there, had she told you. I've worked with you long enough to know you're a lot of things, Gage, but I know you would have been there for my sister," he said.  
"Believe it. I would have been there if I had known. Thanks for not holding it against me," Johnny said.

"No problem, but if something else happens between you two, I can't promise I'll be as forgiving a second time," Mike said.

They exchanged waves and both headed off to their homes. Johnny knew he wasn't going to get much sleep because he was going to be thinking about Julianna.


	8. Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: I own Julianna. All other characters are owned by Mark VII and NBC Universal.

Julianna spent the next two weeks working at the hospital. She'd worked one shift with the Station 51 paramedics and Roy had managed to keep Julianna and Johnny from being alone.

Roy and Mike had discussed the two and decided it was in their best interest to keep the two from having another shouting match.

Julianna had been grateful for the reprieve. Having hashed out what they had two weeks ago still had Julianna emotionally drained.

Julianna was the doctor at the desk when Johnny's call came over the base station.  
_**"Rampart, this is Squad 51. How do you read," he said.**_

"This is Rampart. I read you, go ahead 51," she answered.  
_**"Rampart, we have a male, approximately 54, experiencing crushing chest pain. Stand by for vitals," he said.  
**_"Standing by," she replied.  
_**"Vitals are: BP 180/130; pulse 140 and irregular; respiration 16 and labored. Patient is on mask with 10 liters of oxygen," Johnny said.  
**_"10-4, 51, can you send me a strip," she said.  
_**"10-4, Rampart. This will be lead 2," Johnny said.  
**_Julianna flicked the telemetry unit on and read the strip coming off the machine. She got back to the radio.

"51, I'm reading ST elevation. Start IV Normal Saline, administer 5 milligrams of MS IV for pain and give one dose of nitro, sub-lingual, continue oxygen and monitoring and transport immediately," Julianna said.

"_**10-4, IV Normal Saline, 5 milligrams MS IV and one nitro sub-lingual, monitor and oxygen. Ambulance is here and we'll transport immediately," he said.**_

"10-4, 51," Julianna said.

She read the notes and took the strip off the telemetry unit and sat at the desk. She was almost certain one of the paramedics would be contacting her again requesting an airway for the patient.

Just as she suspected, Johnny's voice came over the radio.

"_**Rampart, this is Squad 51," Johnny said.  
**_"Go ahead, 51," she said.  
**_"Patient is having trouble breathing. Request airway prior to transport," Johnny asked._**

"Insert airway, 51. Let me know of any further changes," she said.

"_**10-4, Rampart," Johnny said.**_

Julianna saw Dixie coming around the corner. "Dixie, Johnny and Roy are bringing a cardiac. Where would you like them to go," she asked.  
"They can have 3. How are you," Dixie asked.  
"I'm fine, why do you ask," she asked.  
"Well, I just noticed that you and a certain paramedic barely speak to each other. You don't have to be afraid of Johnny Gage. He's completely harmless. Cute, but harmless," Dixie said.  
"I'm not worried about Johnny. We just don't have that much in common," she said.  
"Really? If I was a betting woman I would have you guys pegged as perfect for each other. Well, Johnny's a sweet guy. Comes on a little hard, but he's a great guy," Dixie said.  
Julianna remembered just how great and sweet Johnny was back in high school.

"I know, Dixie. Trust me, I know," she said.

Before Dixie could inquire about Julianna's comment, Johnny came around the corner with the ambulance attendants. Roy jogged in right behind.

Dixie pointed to room 3 and Julianna followed in after the stretcher.

"Let's hook him up to the monitor," Julianna said.

Just as they got him transferred on hooked up to the monitor, the patient went into V-fib.

"He's in fib, paddles," Julianna called.

Roy started doing CPR on the patient. Johnny immediately started helping by getting the electrode gel on the paddles and helping Julianna. Dixie worked on ventilating the patient.

"1...2...3...4 go," Johnny called as Julianna applied the paddles and shocked the patient. Dr. Brackett and Early came into the room as the patient jumped after the shock.

"Sinus rhythm. Let's add Lidocaine to his meds, Dixie," Julianna said.  
"What have you got, Juli," Brackett asked.  
"ST elevation MI. Didn't code until he got in to the room. Shocked times 1 and Dixie's adding Lidocaine to his medications. Looks like a candidate for cardiac cath," Julianna said.  
"Looks like. Good job, Dr. Stoker. I'll take over and call in cardiology," Brackett said.  
Roy opened the door for Julianna and followed her to the lounge.

Johnny gathered the equipment and took it out to the Squad.


	9. Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: I own Julianna. Everything else belongs to Mark VII and NBC Universal.

Roy poured a cup of coffee for Julianna. He handed it to her along with the cream and watched her stir the coffee.

"That was impressive, Juli," Roy said.  
"Thanks. Could you tell I was totally freaked out," she said, drinking her coffee.

"No, you covered it really, really well," he said.

Julianna smiled.

"So, about you and Johnny," he asked.  
"I'm sure Johnny's told you the whole saga. The whole tale of Juli and Johnny in high school. He's told you about our relationship and the miscarriage I suffered after I cruelly left him behind to pursue my dreams. I am the horrible, cruel woman who didn't write or call the man she was supposed to love. That about cover it," she asked.  
"Yeah, with the exception of the horrible, cruel woman part. That's never been a description Johnny's attributed to you. In fact, I think you guys could work it out," Roy said.  
"Don't think so, Roy. Johnny's dating Jeanette. He's moved on," Julianna said.  
"Don't be too sure, Juli. Joanne's been dying to meet you. How would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow night," he asked.  
Julianna looked at Roy. "And be subjected to Johnny I suppose," she said.  
"I don't know what Johnny's plans are for the evening, but I'm asking you over to meet my wife. I told her I was spending time with a young doctor during my shifts and she's wanting to meet you," Roy said.  
Julianna didn't have plans for the following evening. Mike was going out on a date with Barbara and Julianna would be alone.

"OK, Roy, but no mentioning of my past with Johnny," she said.  
"Deal," Roy said.  
Johnny came into the lounge and found the two of them laughing.  
"What's so amusing," Johnny asked, grabbing a cup of coffee for himself.  
"Nothing, Junior," Roy said.

Julianna looked up and caught Johnny's eyes. The sparkle that had been there when he first entered the room, disappeared and Johnny felt like he was the cause.

He smiled at her over his coffee cup and she quickly turned her face away, back to Roy.

"So do you have plans for your two days off, Johnny," Roy asked when Johnny sat down at the table with his own cup of coffee.

"Was going to go out with Jeanette, but she's working while I'm off. Our schedules aren't exactly lining up these days," Johnny said.

"How many days do you have off, Juli," Roy asked.  
"Three," she said.

"Do you have plans," Johnny asked, trying to sound casual.

"Well, actually Gil asked me to go to Marina Del Ray for the street fair," Julianna said.  
Johnny's heart clenched. He and Julianna had gone to the street fair as their first date. They'd had a great time and, while watching the fireworks show, Johnny had asked Julianna if he could kiss her. Johnny smiled at the innocent memory.

Julianna looked at Johnny and knew he was thinking what she was thinking. They were both remembering their first date to the street fair and the wonderful time they had together.

Johnny looked up and caught Julianna's eyes, but she looked back at her coffee cup before he could blink.

"You going to go," Roy asked.  
"Well, I know him from high school and he's been trying to get me to hang out like we did back then. I don't know though. Might be hard to top the last time I went to the street fair," she said.

"That was fun," Johnny said, looking at Julianna.

"Yeah, it was," she said, giving him a small smile. Johnny's heart soared. That was the first genuine smile she'd given him in the two weeks since she'd walked back into his life.

Dixie poked her head into the lounge. "Roy, there's a call at the desk for you," she said.  
Roy, forgetting all about leaving Julianna and Johnny alone, got up and left the lounge.


	10. Chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: I own Julianna. Everything else belongs to Mark VII and NBC Universal.

"Now, are you going to go out with him," Johnny asked, more than mild concern edging his tone.  
"I don't know. Why should you care? You have Jeanette to keep you company," Julianna said.

"You don't remember how he followed you around in school? How he took it upon himself to sit with you at lunch that week I was out sick," Johnny said.  
"He was being nice. You two were friends and team mates," she said.

"Oh, come on, Jules. He wanted to go out with you badly in high school. Don't you see what he's trying to do now," he said.  
"Is it so hard to believe that someone wants to go out with me? Or is it the fact that I'm not holding a torch for you," she asked him, her green eyes shining with unshed tears.  
"This has nothing to do with me. It's about me wanting to keep you safe. I'm telling you, he seems like a nice guy, but I know his type," Johnny said.  
"Because he's just like you? Goes out a few times and when things get too emotional or don't end up the way he wants, it's time to move on," Julianna challenged.  
"I'm not that way. At least not until you decided to break my heart and crush all the dreams I had for us," Johnny said.  
"So your dating track record is my fault? That's really big of you, Johnny. Thanks for telling me that I'm responsible for your life and the dating rut you're in. That's really comforting," Julianna said, standing up.

"I never said you were responsible for my life. You just made it hard for me to trust anyone. Everyone I've ever loved has left me and you were no different," Johnny said.  
Julianna had heard enough. Johnny still didn't understand how difficult her decision had been and how devastating her miscarriage had been on her. He wasn't the only one hurting and Julianna was tired of trying to apologize.

She picked up her coffee cup and, just as Roy entered the lounge again, poured the coffee in his lap. "Thanks for making me realize that I shouldn't care what happens to you. Stay out of my life. Who's in my bed these days has nothing to do with you," she said before heading out the door.

Johnny jumped up and grabbed paper towels, Roy standing by the door. He felt the coldness in the room at Julianna's departure and went to help his friend and partner.  
"Want to tell me what happened," Roy asked.

"No, I don't. Let's go back to the Station," Johnny said, heading out the door.

Dixie spotted the two paramedics heading out the door and cast a questioning glare to Roy who shrugged his shoulders.

Julianna sat at the desk, charting on the patient that Squad 99 had brought in a few minutes prior.

Dixie approached the concentrating resident and asked her a question, "What happened?"

Julianna looked at her, a question in her eyes. "Excuse me?"  
"Something happened between you and John Gage earlier. Now, I love that boy like a brother, so you better tell me what happened so I know who to be mad at," Dixie said in her own gentle but determined way.

"It's nothing, Dixie. Johnny was just trying to tell me who he thought I should go out with and I didn't think it was any of his business," Julianna said.

"Was he saying you had to go out with him? Thought he was dating Jeanette," Dixie asked.  
"He is and no he wasn't telling me to date him. He just didn't think I should go out with his friend, Gil Robinson," Julianna said.  
"Well, he knew Gil in high school and Gil did his paramedic training with Johnny and Roy," Dixie said.  
"Gil is a nice guy and it's kind of nice to talk to someone from before I left for college," Julianna said.  
Once again, Dixie was about to ask her to clarify her statement and, once again, Julianna was called away by Dr. Early to see a patient.

Dixie made a mental note to talk to Roy when he and Johnny returned. She was beginning to believe that Julianna had a past and that past was heavily intrenched in Johnny. 'Wonder what happened,' her feminine curiosity thought.


	11. Chapter 11

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the character of Julianna. All others belong to Mark VII and NBC Universal.

"Johnny, you coming over for dinner tomorrow night," Roy asked as Johnny changed into a dry uniform.

"Don't I always," he said.

"Yeah. So, now will you tell me what got Julianna to dump her coffee on you," Roy asked.  
Johnny let out a breath and slumped down on the bench. "I questioned her going out with Gil. That's all," he said.  
"You _what_," Roy asked.  
"Gil wanted to go out with Jules in high school. He was always hanging around and never missed an opportunity to be close to her. He walked her to school one week when I was out sick with the flu. Now, I know Jules wouldn't have done anything behind my back, but she didn't even SEE that he was trying to make a play for her," Johnny said.  
"So you decided to voice that opinion in the lounge," Roy asked.  
"Well, yeah. I'm trying to look out for her," Johnny said.  
"Why," Roy asked. "I mean, you've moved on with your life. You can't expect Julianna to sit around alone. She's a beautiful girl, Johnny, and someone is bound to think that about her. She's going to see guys," he said.  
"I know that, Roy. My problem is she's choosing the _wrong_ kind of guys. That's all. If she's going to date, she needs to find a decent guy," Johnny said.  
"You said Gil is a decent guy," Roy said.

"He is, but he's not good enough for Jules. She's special," Johnny answered.

Roy shook his head. "Telling her not to date someone isn't going to get you any points. She's an adult. She needs to make her own decisions. You don't have that place in her life now. You have to accept it and move on," Roy said.  
"Humph. I have moved on. I just don't want to see her get hurt, that's all," Johnny said.

"You've moved on? I'll believe that when I see it, Johnny. Are you upset that Julianna might go out with Gil or that she's not hung up on you," Roy asked.  
"You're talking nonsense now, Roy. I don't care if there is anything in common between us. I don't care if she's sorry for what happened. If she wants to date Gil and get her heart broken, I'm fine with that. I just don't want to have to pick up the pieces. That isn't my place any longer, either," Johnny said, heading for the locker room.

Julianna sat in her room. She had canceled her get-together with Gil. She promised they could meet for lunch, but she wasn't looking to start a relationship. He'd taken it well and made her promise she'd call if she was interested.

She wanted to get through the next six weeks without any major incidents involving her and Johnny. They were both secretly counting the days until they would only meet up at the hospital.

Johnny was angry. Jeanette had broken up with him the night before and he was almost certain that Julianna had said something to her. Why, Johnny didn't know, but he was going to find out the next time he saw her.

He put on his jeans and shirt and left for Roy's house.

Julianna grabbed her jacket, smoothed down her dress and headed to Roy's house. She hoped she didn't get lost with the directions.

Julianna parked her car at the curb and walked to the front door. She rang the doorbell. She nearly turned and fled when Johnny answered the door.  
The smile on his face quickly disappeared when he saw her standing there.

"What are you doing here," he asked.

"Roy invited me," she said. She now understood that Roy had put her and Johnny together at his house. Roy was plotting something and Julianna was going to give him a piece of her mind.

Just as Julianna was about to say something, Roy appeared behind him.  
"Juli, come on in. Joanne's in the kitchen," Roy said.  
Johnny stepped out of the way and allowed Julianna entrance into the hall of the DeSoto home. She liked their place. It was in a newer apartment complex and Julianna loved the little homey touches Joanne had done to make the place inviting.

Julianna went into the kitchen completely ignoring Johnny and his glare from the hallway.  
"Jo, Juli's here," Roy said, introducing Julianna to his wife.  
"Hi, I'm Joanne. It's so nice to meet you, Juli," Joanne said.  
"Nice to meet you, too," Julianna said.  
Roy turned back to his friend and partner. "I'm leaving," Johnny said.  
Roy grabbed his arm. "No you're not. The kids would ask too many questions and Julianna would get the idea that it was because she was here," Roy said.  
"It is because she's here, Roy. She dumped coffee on me the last time we were in the same room," Johnny said.  
"I told Jo not to give Juli any coffee," Roy said.

"Johnny, can you take this to the table," Joanne called to him.

Looking at his friend, he called back to her. "Sure Jo," Johnny said, entering the kitchen.  
Julianna came into the dining room behind him. She was carrying the basket of bread.

Johnny sat the ham on the table, turned and watched Julianna sat the bread on the table.

"You going to throw bread at me," Johnny asked.

Julianna turned around and glared at him. "Only if you act like an ass," she said, before heading out into the kitchen to help Joanne.

The four managed to get through dinner and Roy artfully steered the conversation away from anything that would link Julianna and Johnny. They talked about work and their runs. Dinner went smoothly.

Julianna offered to do the dishes for Joanne so she could put the kids to bed. Roy and Johnny carried the dishes to the kitchen for Julianna.

Roy and Johnny were sitting in the living room, talking when Joanne called down to Roy.

"Honey, can you come and help? Chris wants you to tuck him in," she asked.  
Roy looked at Johnny. "Behave," he said before heading off to help his wife.

Johnny sat on the couch before getting up and looking out the back door of the DeSoto's two-story apartment.

He was just about to go out the door when he heard the sound of glass breaking and Julianna's soft cry.

Forgetting everything, he rushed into the kitchen to find Julianna standing over the sink. There were blood droplets on the floor and the water in the sink was tinged pink.

"Jules, what happened," he asked, rushing to help her.  
"I don't know. I just dropped the glass and when I went to pick it up, I got some in my hand," she said, wincing as Johnny pulled the skin on her palm.

"There's still some in there, Jules. I think we need to get you to Rampart and get it pulled out," he said, concern in his voice.  
"Are you sure," she asked, looking at the wound herself. "Yeah," Johnny said. He only then realized he'd been holding both of her hands to keep her from touching the wound and it felt just as it did when he was in high school.

Roy came into the kitchen and saw the two. He noticed the blood on the floor and rushed to Julianna.  
"What happened," he asked.  
"Jules cut her hand on some glass and she still has some in there. We need to go to the hospital, Jules. You know you need stitches," Johnny said.  
"He's right. Why don't you take her Johnny and I'll finish up in here," Roy suggested.  
"I can drive myself," Julianna said.  
"I'm sure you can, but you know exactly what will happen when you get sutures and you'll need someone there to drive you home," Roy said.  
"Come on, Jules," Johnny said.  
Roy wrapped her hand in another towel and grabbed her purse and helped her out the door to Johnny's car. "Call me, Johnny. I took the car key off the ring. I'll get your car home. Take it easy, Juli," Roy said.

"See ya, Roy," Johnny said.

As Julianna and Johnny headed to the hospital, Julianna said, "You can drop me off at the hospital. I'll call Mike or get a ride home from someone at the hospital," she said.

"If I dropped you off and someone else brought you home, both Roy and Mike would have my head. Besides, I'm a gentleman, despite what you might think," Johnny said.

"I never said you weren't a gentleman," Julianna said.

Johnny didn't comment on Julianna's response. He parked at the ER entrance and helped Julianna out of the car.


	12. Chapter 12

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, but Julianna. All other characters belong to Mark VII and NBC Universal.

"I can walk," she said.  
"I know, but I'm just trying to help, Jules," Johnny said.  
Julianna relaxed a bit and let Johnny lead her into the ER.

Johnny guided Julianna into the ER. He noticed her grimacing and knew her hand had to be bothering her. He wasn't sure how big the piece of glass was, but the size of the wound showed it wasn't small.

Dixie met them as she was coming out of Kel's office.  
"Hey, what happened," she asked, gazing at the bloody towel on Julianna's hand.  
"She was doing dishes and she cut her hand," Johnny answered.  
"You made your date do dishes after dinner! I thought you knew better than that," Dixie said, pointing to room 2.  
"Oh, no, Dix..." Julianna started.  
"You got that wrong..." Johnny said at the same time.

"What you two weren't having dinner together," Dixie asked.

"Well, yeah, but we were at Roy's and I offered to do the dishes so Joanne could put the kids to bed," Julianna said.  
"And she broke a glass, cut her hand and I think she has glass in it," Johnny said, finishing the story.

He helped Julianna up on the stretcher and carefully unwrapped the towel from her hand. Dixie brought the mayo stand next to the bed and put Julianna's hand on it.

"Man, that looks worse than it did at first," Julianna said, grimacing at the wound.

"Stay with her Johnny. I'll get Kel," Dixie said.

"OK. You've seen me to the door, now you can call Mike so you can hurry and get yourself out of here," Julianna said.  
"Not going to happen, Jules. I'll call Mike, but I'm staying until you go home," Johnny said.

Julianna put her head back on the bed and closed her eyes. This was NOT what she wanted to have happen and she was dreading the next few hours.

Johnny stood on the other side of the bed, concerned for Julianna. He knew she was not going to do well with the drugs. She tended to get really loopy after small doses.

He laughed to himself.

"You're thinking about that time my parents went away for the weekend and we decided to go hiking and I ended up with a broken ankle," Julianna said, not looking at him.  
"Yeah. That was pretty funny, if you hadn't gotten hurt," Johnny said.

Julianna laughed. "I was pretty funny," she said.

"You did embarrass me pretty good back then," Johnny said.  
"Oh, yeah. I called you my 'hero on the dark stallion.' God, what was I thinking," she said.  
"That wasn't nearly as embarrassing as you describing certain parts of my anatomy and telling everyone about my mole. Thankfully, we went to Harbor General and no one knew us there," he said.

Johnny realized he held Julianna's hand during their trip down memory lane and he was quite happy with it.

She let go of his hand as soon as she heard the door start to open. Dr. Brackett walked in, followed by Dr. Early.  
"Two? I didn't know I needed a consult, Kel," Julianna said.

"Just want to make sure you're going to be alright," Kel said, peering at the bleeding wound on Julianna's hand.

"Well, we're going to have to give you something for the pain and we'll probe it. Do you have any allergies," Kel asked.  
"Penicillin," both Johnny and Julianna said at the same time.

Joe, Kel and Dixie looked at each other.

"Have you ever had any problems with anesthesia," Kel asked.

"She gets a little loopy after just a small dose," Johnny said before Julianna could answer the question herself.

"Well, it's good that you're here to take her home, Johnny," Kel said.

Dixie had to bite her tongue to keep from asking what she was dying to ask. However, from what she could gather, Johnny knew a lot about Julianna.

"OK, we're going to start an IV on you in your unaffected arm, then give you a local block," Kel said.

Julianna flinched at the thought of an IV and needles.  
Johnny leaned down and spoke into her ear.

"It's OK. Look at me," Johnny said.  
Julianna had a nauseating feeling in her stomach. She wasn't sure if it was from the thought of getting an IV or the fact that focusing on Johnny was the only thing keeping her from freaking out about the actual process.

"Are you feeling any pain, Juli," Kel asked.  
Julianna, eyes closed, responded, "Yeah."

Dixie started the IV with little difficulty and immediately gave Julianna two milligrams of morphine for the pain.

Julianna knew the minute the drugs entered her system because she got all warm and fuzzy and closed her eyes.

"I think you're good, doc," Johnny said.  
Julianna slipped into a light sleep and Brackett was able to sew up her hand without one movement from the patient.  
"Are you going to stay here for a minute, Dix? I want to go and call Mike and Roy," Johnny said.  
"Yeah, I'll stay with her," Dixie said.

Johnny walked out the door, casting a glance at Julianna before he left the room.  
"That was interesting," Dixie said.  
Kel and Joe just raised their eyebrows and headed out of the room, leaving Dixie to wrap up the hand.

Julianna opened her eyes and smiled at Dixie.

"Hi, Dix," she said.

"Hey, Juli. Johnny went to go call Mike and Roy," Dixie said.

"Johnny's a good guy. I should never have left him like I did," she said.

"Left Johnny," Dixie asked as she dressed the wound on Julianna's hand.

"High school sweetheart. Until he kissed my friend," Julianna said, her eyes closing again.  
Dixie couldn't believe what she'd just heard and was dying for more information.

Before Dixie could ask, Julianna started talking again.  
"I'm just sorry about the baby" she said.

Dixie nearly dropped the items she was carrying to the trash.

Johnny came back into the room and Dixie had to compose herself. "Did you get Mike," Dixie asked.  
"Yeah. He's going to meet her at home," Johnny said.

"Well, I'll get her discharge papers," Dixie said, skirting out of the room.

"Jules," Johnny said.

"Johnny," she said.  
"Are you ready to go home? Mike is waiting for you," Johnny said.

Julianna nodded her head and Johnny helped her into the wheelchair.

He pushed the chair out the door. "Now, you take good care of her, Johnny. She'll know all of the discharge instructions, but don't let her get it wet. No more dishes for ten days. Here's some pain pills. You handle her OK," Joe asked Johnny.

"Yeah. Jules is a light-weight. I can handle her. Thanks, doc," Johnny said.  
He took the paperwork and pills and headed out to his car.

"Here we go, Jules," he said.  
Julianna got out of the wheelchair and let Johnny help her into his car.

"Let's get you home, Jules," Johnny said.  
As he drove to her house, he was assuming she lived with Mike in the house she grew up in, he caught glimpses of her profile in the streetlights.

Julianna closed her eyes in the passenger seat. She wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep in her own bed.

As Johnny pulled up in the driveway, he saw Mike opening the front door.

"Jules, we're here," he said, opened the driver's door and going around to help her out of the car.  
Eyes half-open and still half-drugged, Julianna turned to Johnny. "I love you," she said.

Before Johnny could check to see if he'd heard her correctly, Mike was at the door, helping Johnny get her out of the car.

Without waiting for her to protest, Johnny picked her up and carried her inside the house.

"Is it still the second door on the left," Johnny asked.  
"Yeah," Mike said.  
Johnny took her up the stairs and entered the room she'd had when she was in high school. The furniture was updated to reflect that Julianna was a young woman now, but a cork board over the desk held many of the mementos for high school. As he laid Julianna down on the bed, he spied a picture of the two of them. It was taken in one of those photo booths at the street fair in Marina del Ray.

Seeing she held on to a picture of the two of them from that time, made him smile. 'Maybe there's hope for us, yet, Jules,' he thought to himself.

He pulled the quilt around her and went back downstairs.

"Is she really alright," Mike asked as Johnny came down the steps.

"Yeah. Took 12 stitches. She's just a little loopy from the medication. Remember, she's a bit sensitive to anything stronger than aspirin," Johnny said.  
Mike nodded. "I keep forgetting you know a lot about my sister," he said.  
"I'll call tomorrow to see how she is. Those pain pills are going to be her best friend in a few hours. Just make sure she eats first. When she broke her ankle, she took one and didn't eat first. She was awfully sick. I felt so bad for her that day," Johnny said.

"Talk to you tomorrow, then," Mike said.  
Johnny opened the door and headed to his car. As he sat behind the wheel, he couldn't stop thinking about what Julianna had said in the car. Did she still love him? Was there a chance for the two of them?


	13. Chapter 13

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, but Julianna. Mark VII and NBC Universal own the rest.

Julianna was glad to have the stitches out of her hand. She'd been unable to do anything that might cause her to get her hand wet at work, so she'd been relegated to teaching CPR to the nursing students and assisting with the current class of paramedic students. She was glad to be back to work.

She'd finished her first shift back and was back at home, exhausted but glad to be back doing what she loved. She'd even laughed when the guys from the Station each sent home with Mike five pairs of rubber gloves. 'It's nice to be loved,' she thought to herself.

Her time off had permitted her some time to go out on a date. She hadn't intended it, but she accepted an invitation for an outing with a paramedic, Bellingham. Julianna had a wonderful time with him and, while she didn't think she would have a long relationship with him, he was fun to be around and wanted to pursue a friendship with him.

It was during their third get together when they'd gone to the beach, that Julianna told Bill about her past with Johnny.

"_Really, you knew John Gage in high school? That must have been interesting," Bill said._

"_Actually, Johnny and I dated during high school. We broke up when I went away to college," she said.  
"AH, that explains it," Bill said.  
Julianna looked at him. "Explains what," she asked.  
"You guys do seem to argue an awful lot," Bill said.  
"I don't get it," she questioned.  
"Come on, Juli. Everyone knows about that fight you had with Johnny your first ride-along. They also know that he took you to the hospital when you cut your hand," he said._

"_Gee, I had no idea. Well, Johnny and I are trying to be friends. I just wanted you to know in case he says or does something stupid," Julianna said.  
"I'll remember that," Bill said.  
_They'd spent a fun day at the beach and Julianna didn't know what she was going to do if they got serious, but right now she was having fun.

She turned her attention back to her spaghetti sauce, sauce that rivaled her brothers and turned off the stove.

She went upstairs to change into her jeans and a shirt. She took her pot of sauce off the stove and wrapped it in towels and added it to a box. She put two bags of groceries into the car and prepared to take it to the Station. She knew they had been out on calls all day and Julianna knew no one had time to prepare dinner. She was going to make the spaghetti noodles, salad and garlic bread at the Station.

She drove the ten minutes to the Station, just as the Engine and Squad backed into the Station.

She parked in the back and started carrying the box with the sauce into the back door.  
"Juli, what are you doing here," Chet asked.

"Thought I'd make spaghetti for dinner," she said.  
"Need some help," Marco asked.  
"Well, there's two bags of groceries in the back seat," Julia said.

Chet and Marco each grabbed a bag and Mike held the door open for them.

"Thanks, Juju," Mike said.  
Julianna smiled at her brother. "Anything for you, Mikey," she said.

The guys sat the groceries on the counter and Julianna put the sauce on the stove to simmer. Mike got out a pan for the noodles and filled it with water.

Julianna pulled a knife out of the block. "Mike, after you get the water going you want to take care of the bread? I'm going to cut up the veggies for salad," Julianna asked her brother.

Mike grabbed the bread from the bag and started cutting. Julianna had brought a container of her homemade garlic butter spread and Mike put it on the bread. He turned the oven on to prepare to toast the bread.

Julianna stood at the cutting board, cutting up cucumbers for the salad. Mike laughed.  
Julianna looked at her brother.  
"What," she asked, grinning at him.  
"Just seems like we're at home," he said.

"I know. Do you at least do dishes here," she asked, teasing.  
Mike frowned at her and she started laughing. Mike got the coffee from the stove and poured a cup for himself and his sister. She put the rest of the vegetables in the salad bowl and carried it to the table. Marco grabbed the dishes and sat the table.

"Noodles will be done in about ten minutes, fellas," Julianna said.

She took her coffee and walked behind Johnny and Roy. She figured he was trying to keep Chet from hearing the topic of conversation. She caught Johnny telling Roy he had a date to go sailing and Julianna nearly dropped her coffee.

She leaned in between Johnny and Roy and focused her green eyes on Johnny. "Sailing? Really? Tell me, Johnny, have you figured out how to get over that sea sickness thing? Might make for a pretty lousy date," she said, rising into a standing position and heading to the couch.

Johnny stopped talking and glared at Julianna.

He hadn't wanted Julianna to know what he was doing. He was hoping to catch Julianna alone and talk with her again, but she was being very careful when she was around him. He also knew that, besides Mike and Roy, no one knew of their past or their relationship.

Chet looked at her. "How do you know that," he asked.  
Julianna shrugged her shoulders. "Doesn't everyone," she said, drinking her coffee.

Chet nodded and went back to the paper.

Johnny continued to glare at her. She didn't care. She was proving a point and before long, she knew everyone would know about their past. Julianna didn't know if that was good or bad.

Mike caught his sister's eye and glared at her. She merely smiled and shrugged her shoulders.  
Johnny decided to talk with her.  
"Hey, Juli. Could I talk to you for a minute," Johnny asked.  
"I don't think that's a good idea," Mike spoke up and Roy said, "Johnny."

"What? Why can't Gage talk to Julianna," Chet asked.  
"It's not a problem. Mikey, can you watch the noodles," she asked before getting off the couch.  
She walked out of the door first and followed Johnny to the dorms.


	14. Chapter 14

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, but Julianna. Mark VII and NBC Universal own the rest.

"What is your problem," Julianna asked him.  
"That's my question to you. What is YOUR problem," Johnny asked.  
"I don't have a problem. Well, except with you trying to be something you're not," she said.  
"What are you talking about," he asked.  
"Taking your latest girlfriend sailing. You get sea sick. How were you going to disguise that one," she asked.  
"I can handle a little sailing. I can't handle you sticking your nose into my life," Johnny said.

"Funny. Seems a few weeks ago you were sticking your nose into my dating life," she said.

"You had something to do with my breaking up with Jeanette," he said.  
"WHAT? First you blame me for your poor dating record and for abandoning you and now you're blaming me for your former girlfriend breaking up with you. Wow, Johnny, I must be pretty important to have that kind of pull over your life," Julianna said.

"Oh, come on. You said something to Jeanette. That's the reason she broke up with me," Johnny said.  
"Jeanette broke up with you because you're not her type. I'm sorry, Johnny, but I didn't say anything to Jeanette about you. I don't talk about you at all, if I can help it. I told you before I don't care about your life any longer. I'm doing my thing and you're doing yours with whomever you want to do it with," Julianna said.

"Is that a shot about you and Gil," Johnny said.  
"It's not a shot about anyone. I don't care anymore, Johnny," Julianna said.  
"Was I right about Gil or not," Johnny asked.  
"Not that it's your business, but I never went out with Gil. I'm seeing Bellingham," Julianna said.

Johnny's jaw hit the floor. "Bellingham? Why in the world would you see him," Johnny asked.  
"Because he doesn't remind me of you. He didn't go to high school with me and nothing he does makes me think of you. Happy now," Julianna asked. Without giving him a chance to answer she went back to the day room, fully prepared to leave.  
"Julianna. Julianna! Stop. I want to talk about this," Johnny said, rushing into the day room.

Julianna turned around, forgetting the room was full of her brother and his crew mates.

"There is nothing I want talk about with you! I'm so tired of apologizing for what happened eight years ago. You want me to admit it, fine, I'm sorry I ran off without talking to you. I'm sorry I never told you about the baby. I'm sorry I never made an effort to get in touch with you. I'm sorry we ever crossed paths with each other. Does that make you feel better? Are you happier now believing we should have never met? I'm sorry we both got hurt. I'm sorry that I ever fell in love with you and I'm sorry I ever slept with you. I'm sorry," she yelled before running out of the day room, tears rushing down her cheeks.  
Everyone in the room was quiet. They were all processing the information that had just been revealed to them. They knew Johnny and Julianna had no intention of revealing that personal information to them, but in the heat of their argument, they forgot they had an audience.

Johnny watched her run out of the room. He said to himself, so softly they almost missed it, "I'm not sorry I fell in love with you," he said.  
Without waiting for anyone to say anything, Johnny rushed out of the day room and ran out the back of the apparatus bay. Julianna was leaning against the hood of the car, crying.  
Johnny hated this. He hated fighting with her. As he saw the girl he had loved so deeply in high school, break down, he felt like an ass. Watching her, made him realize he loved her. He still loved her.

Without thinking, Johnny walked to Julianna with purpose. Without saying a word, he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her. And boy did he kiss her. All the pent up frustration and desire and love they held for each other for the last eight years came to the surface.  
Before Julianna could think, she had wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him. He wrapped her tighter in his arms and felt more alive than he'd felt in years.

When they needed to breathe, Johnny pulled away and rested his forehead against Julianna's. "I love you, Jules. I still love you," he whispered.  
Julianna started crying. She had known she was still in love with Johnny from the first moment he'd re-entered her life. "I love you, too," she said.  
Johnny started to kiss her again, but Julianna put her finger on his lips. With tears pouring down her cheeks she said, in a faint whisper, "But, sometimes, Johnny, that's not enough."

She turned away from him and got in her car and headed out of the parking lot, leaving Johnny gaping at her departure.

_**A/N: You all hate me right now, I'm sure, but, not to fear! I am a fan of the series. I've already started on the next installment of this series. I hope you like it as much as this one. ~Kaiti**_


End file.
